osakarob's blog

A hypothetical situation based on real events:

My hometown is located in a state that is 2,000 miles away from the location in which I now live.
However, I fly back to my home state about twice a year to visit relatives.

Naturally, before traveling back home, I check out profiles to see whether some matches might be possible.

I've sent messages to several potential opponents that caught my eye there. I included a brief but polite message that ended with something like "....let me know if we might be a potential fit for a match."

If I receive no response back, I certainly realize that there is no interest on their part. And that's fine.
I'm not owed a match with someone just because I want one. I respect that I probably don't meet their preferred criteria.
And I never message anyone who clearly indicates age, weight or body type criteria that I don't have.

But I'm forgetful. I don't always remember the profiles I've looked at and have sent messages to.
After months and months have passed and I begin planning another trip, I'm probably clicking on the same profile pages again and again.
And I'm sure those guys probably find that irritating.

So, would it be better etiquette to block those to whom I've not received responses? What do you think?

The casinos and resorts here in Las Vegas re-opened this past weekend. Anecdotal sightings suggest that a minority of visitors utilized masks. However, many observed the social distancing protocols and hand washing recommendations. Naturally, all workers were masked up and enhanced cleaning protocols were evident.

I DON'T interpret this as everything getting back to normal. But it is SOMETHING.

It means that a number of people have taken a personal inventory and have concluded they are ok with some degree of exposure risk in order to do things they enjoy.

It reminded me of the later years of the AIDS epidemic. By the mid 1990s, millions had already died but thankfully public health messages about safe sex and condoms had taken hold. If you were going to be intimate with someone, you knew what to do: Wear a condom if penetrative sex was planned.

And, similar to today, some segment of the population determined that they were ok with a higher risk of transmission. So, things like sex clubs, saunas, and hookups with strangers persisted even under a frightening uncertainty of whether one was ever truly safe or not.

I’ve heard acquaintances here on MF share that they’ve begun having matches again. The “terms and conditions” under which they feel comfortable doing so seems to run the gamut depending on the individual’s capacity for managing risk.

On one extreme, I heard about two opponents who trusted that each had been in self-isolation for two months and met up for a match in one of their homes. On the other extreme, I’ve heard of opponents who are just less concerned generally and willing to risk exposure for the enjoyment of a match - even solely relying on their new opponent's word of his health.

I haven’t yet sorted out when I’d like to begin having matches again. I put a deferral on my gym membership till Fall just to see whether things seem safe. And I’m guessing it will take at least that long till I meet someone for a match. But it's difficult for me to guess what criteria I'd use to feel safe. Maybe that means it's best to stick to former opponents first who I trust to give me their health updates?

What are your “terms and conditions” for meeting up again for a battle?

There is no more exhilarating of a thrill than the anticipation that comes before meeting a new opponent for the first time, is there? So many questions run through your mind: "Who will prevail? Who is strongest? How will this match go?" New opponents bring out so many questions.

But actually *ASKING* too many questions before or during a match can ruin the experience for some people.

(I'm not talking about the kinds of questions that you and your opponent need to determine beforehand: things like fighting interests, match style preferences, safety, and the logistics for setting something up. Those questions are usually benign. And having a platform like Meetfighters where you can chat, email, and peruse your opponent's past experiences is really an incredible blessing!)

But during the meet-up itself, I've met opponents who really don't want to be asked a lot of questions.

And for guys like these, some questions seem to be *particularly* off-limits: "What do you do for a living?" "Are you married?" "What is your sexual orientation?" Those kinds of questions often get a "DON'T ASK" kind of reply.

I'm a pretty open person and probably suffer from that stereotype of Americans in that I ask a lot of questions when I meet someone new. I don't mean to be rude or sound like I'm prying - usually I'm just trying to quickly establish a social bond because wrestling feels like quite an intimate act.

But I've learned to be less inquisitive. These days, I won't push if I get the feeling that my conversations are being met with a DON'T ASK kind of vibe. But it is difficult to know where the line is. Meeting someone because you have a shared wrestling interest doesn't mean you have to open yourself up completely. But I admit I sometimes struggle with how much to inquire before reaching the DON'T ASK limit.

How about you?

The COVID stay-at-home order has probably given us all a lot of time to reflect.

During this time, I've identified 2 regrets:

1. I regret that I didn't record ALL of my previous matches. I have a few - some even dating back to before we all had cameras on our phones. But wish I had recorded many more of them.

2. There are guys who I've wanted to have matches with for years - but never did so because they were "too far away."

I wish I hadn't hesitated to get on a flight and travel for a weekend just for those matches.

I hope to turn these regrets into positive resolutions when this is all over!
Has the lockdown made you think of anything similar?