hephaestion2014's blog

So attended another great group meet at High Barnet, and think its time to proselytize about them again.

Group meets are great. Not only is it a safe and efficient way to meet new wrestlers, but also the social aspect as well as learning stuff too is amazing.

I understand that some people are nervous to go to a group meet, any group meet. I was one of them once. Luckily a past opponent was going to one and offered me a lift. For that I'm forever grateful to that individual ;)

But yes, it can be a daunting experience turning up to a group meet when you've not met anyone before. As soon as you are through the doors, you'll forget all that. If you are nervous, I'd recommend High Barnet meets because Andy is a great host and will make you feel comfortable and at home. I've not been going to the meets at Barnet that long, but it feels like a second home.

The main thing I hear from people reasons for being uncomfortable about attending group meets are :

-What if no-one wants to wrestle me?

Well that's just fear. There will always be someone who is happy to wrestle you.
Look - my hand is up!

Sometimes a little research before the event helps too. Look and read the profiles of the other people going. For example in my case, if I see someone wants to only wrestle lightweight, young or people who are hairy and larger, then I'll probably won't approach them for a match. I'll still have a chat though, as although I might not be their ideal opponent, no reason we can't chat and be friendly. No hard feelings.

- What if someone challenges me that I don't want to wrestle?

Yes, I guess that might happen. If you do have a certain preference for an opponent, this will happen. I'm happy to wrestle everyone so I'll just say the best way it's phrased to me.

You can say "no, thanks" but that sometimes seems a bit brutal in person, but there is a nicer way, and one that I hear a lot ;)

"I'm just having a rest at the moment" "Im a bit tired right now." "I'm pacing myself"

It's a very British solution. I know you are really saying no, you know you are saying no but it's a gentler let down.

Of course sometimes people are tired, resting and pacing themselves - but then it's kind of up to them to rechallenge you.

If you hear those sentences, dont be a dick by keep asking them to wrestle, or then a firm and unambiguous no is definitely called for.

- I'm shy. I don't like wrestling in front of others.

Okay, then yes, certain group meets at certain venues aren't going to be that good for you. Pippas in Manchester has a couple of private matrooms so you can attend the group meets but wrestle in private. That would be the best option.

- What if I get aroused wrestling other people or watching?

Well that sometimes happen. I do the very British thing of not drawing attention to it as long as you don't.

Again, it's about the profile research and the vibes you get from the guy... if he mentions 1) I'm straight 2) Has a boyfriend 3) Only here to wrestle - then if you are humping it against his leg, they may not be best pleased.

But we are all.men, we've all sat on that bus seat with the vibration, we've all had unwanted erections and most of us have an understanding of penises ... so don't stress about it.

Usually you're too focused on wrestling for your mind to go elsewhere.

- What if I'm the worst wrestler there? Everyone will be great and I'm a sack of potatoes.

Yeah, I genuinely struggle with that myself. I still kick myself for not challenging people because I see them as "out of my league"

But again, that's a confidence issue. It's a problem that is easily resolved.

You can only get good at wrestling by actually wrestling. Some people are born wrestlers, the rest of us have to learn it. Tell people you are new to it, and the majority of people will accommodate to you.

There are some good wrestlers who are more than happy to share their knowledge, give you tips and offer advice. You'll easily spot them at the meet, or the other people you are chatting to will point you in their direction.

So that's that. Go. Have fun, and if I can - I'll see you on the mats.