So I’ve been a member on and off for a good 11 years. Previously it’s felt like a very safe space. However I’ve recently noted an increase in toxic useds, body shaming and users with narcissistic views and a sense of entitlement.

I’m 5-11 and weight about 90kg right now following a period of incapacity due to injury. I was told by one user that I should ‘lose weight’ if I wanted to meet him - I’m not here to name a shame just raise awareness.

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia since I was a teenager, and whilst I can process shit like this and challenge it, it makes me concerned for those who can’t do the same. Personally if someone sets an expected standard for me to meet them - i.e. ‘you have to be this weight, you have to be toned, you have to be under XX’ then I genuinely have no desire to meet them.

I’m lucky to have met some amazing people from this site, if I am going to change anything about myself however, it’s on my terms and not to meet with someone else’s agenda. I genuinely hope this sends a positive message to other users who’ve experienced similar.

Yes people have preferences and that’s totally fine, but when you point out to someone that they’re ‘not up to standard’ and suggest they change, that’s when it’s not ok. It costs nothing to be kind.

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Last edited on 2/05/2023 11:47 PM by Submission Guy 82
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Comments

55

Centaur (60)

2/05/2023 12:15 PM

Mate these guys probably gas out quicker than you do now, so much mouth and so little action on this site.

You are an accomplished subs and pro wrestler who I’m itching to meet up with, if you’ve gained a bit then you’ll lose it or transform it to muscle.

His loss!

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 2:00 PM

(In reply to this)

Mate I’d be VERY happy to meet you for a match any day!

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Instinctively (1)

2/05/2023 1:12 PM

Absolutely their loss. I've seen levels of body shaming since I joined last year, it's not cool and people who shame like that don't deserve the privilege of meeting others, let alone someone such as yourself, mate.

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 2:01 PM

(In reply to this)

Thank you mate, I’m glad other people are aware of it. Appreciate the kinds words champ! ❤️

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Jordy125 (10 )

2/05/2023 1:23 PM

👏👏👏 So true. It's 100% okay to not be someone's cup of tea, but to then make a point of it and make demands to meet their expectation, like they're the prize you have to work towards, is so gross.

I've had someone say this to me before too and it was instantly off-putting, so I'm sorry you've had to deal with this - hopefully in the future people become a bit more humble. At the end of the day, we're all here to have fun!

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 2:02 PM

(In reply to this)

Well mate as I’ve said to you on many occasions, you have an incredible body, and you should seriously own that! ❤️

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Jordy125 (10 )

2/05/2023 2:30 PM

(In reply to this)

Thank you! And you know I think you've got a great body too. Honestly, I think you're better off without that clown!

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 2:32 PM

(In reply to this)

Just get over here soon for that first match!

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Jordy125 (10 )

2/05/2023 2:42 PM

(In reply to this)

Yessir! ;)

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WrestlerPhilxxx (2 )

2/05/2023 1:57 PM

Couldn't agree more with you on this. Well said. Unfortunately there are many cockwombles out there who do this.
Why I tend to prefer meeting kinksters into wrestling via another site as they're all generally on the same page regarding body weight, size etc.

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 1:59 PM

(In reply to this)

Thank you mate! Please do inbox the details of said site lol

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Silent Assassin (4)

2/05/2023 2:17 PM

Ignore the haters. There's nothing wrong with you :-)

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ordjbr (68)

2/05/2023 2:19 PM

I understand…growing up I was always the kid picked last for kids teams…I made up injuries in high school for the years of PE so I wouldn’t be the dreaded “skins” team and take off my shirt.

Took a while to grasp a man’s true body is on the inside and is reflected in his character and the way he treats himself and others. Your “body” is the tops because of the man you are …well done bud 👍🏻👍🏻💪💪

And if our paths ever crossed whether it’s wrestling or grabbing a pint hit me up 👍🏻👍🏻Cheers!

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LAwrestler23 (27)

2/05/2023 2:23 PM

So very sorry you are experiencing this. I’m always curious about people on here who rate other’s pics with a thumbs down…seems like if they don’t like the pic they could just move on without comment. Anyways it’s important to remember that only people who are unhappy with themselves will criticize others. Hope you continue to find many matches!

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 2:26 PM

(In reply to this)

Thanks mate, I think it exists everywhere. I’m just not the type to sit down and take it 😂 you got an amazing profile, thanks for kind words

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ordjbr (68)

2/05/2023 2:27 PM

(In reply to this)

Exactly 👍🏻👍🏻

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bobster (30)

2/05/2023 3:43 PM

Guys who think you should meet a certain standard for them are blowhards and nothing less. I would not waste my time considering them at all.
Hope you get requests for matches and have a good time working out with others.

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TakeThePunchesAI (13)

2/05/2023 4:08 PM

I appreciate you sharing, I know this is a touchy topic for a lot of people and I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Yeah that's one thing I just don't understand on here regarding the site. Like body should not matter as far as who you want to face for whatever style. But not to defend anybody, I'm just saying that I think a lot of people lead with their fetish and don't necessarily see a match but a fantasy. That's really the problem of it all and it's not just like on here, it's in society. Everybody thinks they need to have the same type of body build instead of just having the body that makes you happy, or the body you see for yourself. Now do I think everybody need to be active, yes. Because it's good for your mental health (that's what got me more into fitness in the first place), for your heart rate, to relieve stress (When I was younger I did angry curls and angry crunches, lol).

Like everybody shouldn't be required to looking a certain way to have a match, it's the skill and personality that matters more than anything. If I have to add another personal request on my end, hygiene, lol. Anyway, like I know my body draws people for matches with me but that shouldn't be the only thing. I get those messages, but it's nice to see messages like "you look tough," or "you look like you'll be fun in the ring." like that's what matters. I don't look the way I look for matches on here, I look like this because this is my version of Bruce Lee I seen for myself and I made the sacrifices I was damn happy to make to get here and beyond.

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evilfighter (11)

2/05/2023 4:12 PM

LOL tell the Lady that you must wrestle not do fashion shows.

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Nightwing (2)

2/05/2023 4:42 PM

I know we only chart a few times on and off here but I always found you a sexy lovely guy!!! Can't understand why people should shame anyone!!!! What a garbage behaviour on their side!!!

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 5:46 PM

(In reply to this)

Thank you man :) we still need to meet!!

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Nightwing (2)

2/05/2023 7:37 PM

(In reply to this)

Yes we do!!!

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NJWoodbridge (141)

2/05/2023 5:32 PM

Let me get this correctly. You have an excellent list of past opponents, splendid recommendations, AND YOU CAN HOST? I'll ask again, YOU CAN HOST? What kind of jerk would not jump at the chance to tangle with you if your style of wrestling matches yours (or comes close to matching yours). I will tell you what kind, a Class A#1 jerk.

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 5:47 PM

(In reply to this)

Thanks man very kind of you. I’m most more concerned for the guys who don’t speak out and end up feeling body shamed, thus disengaging from something they’re passionate about.

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TakeThePunchesAI (13)

2/05/2023 7:47 PM

(In reply to this)

But because you said something, maybe they'll feel more comfortable. I mean look all the support you have from this man. Others will see that they can have that too.

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 7:49 PM

(In reply to this)

This is very true 👌❤️

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hardpunch (17)

5/28/2023 8:06 PM

(In reply to this)

Amen, brother.

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wrestlnfool (41)

2/05/2023 6:19 PM

That is their loss. I am sure everyone at one point of time have had that type of experience. I sure have. Keep your head up and continue wrestling. Don’t let it bother you most people will say that is easier said than done. Deep down inside it is very hurtful.

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mochablk (23)

2/05/2023 6:35 PM

Absolutely their loss. They're probably the ones who aren't even wrestling anyone. Just making trouble for anyone they come into contact with. Don't pay them ANY attention.

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TakeThePunchesAI (13)

2/05/2023 7:51 PM

(In reply to this)

Yep, that's usually how it works. People push their insecurities on others.

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Slim 66 (32)

2/05/2023 6:52 PM

I agree.. I had several guys who would not wrestle me because I was too small.

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cyclone74 (29)

2/05/2023 7:48 PM

Just squeeze the life out of any of them, you are cute and that’s all that matters . Stay strong handsome

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

2/05/2023 9:35 PM

Body shaming on here is definitely a real thing, especially for us bigger guys.

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Crog7 (10)

2/05/2023 9:39 PM

Do even stress
Any one who body shames others are losers in my opinion
Be grateful what god gave us
Cheers

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walrus (29 )

2/05/2023 10:57 PM

That is appalling mate, if that person does not want to wrestle you a politr no thanks is all they need to say. Until recently i was obese at 325 lb / 148 kg and have had the odd similar comment which i just ignored. Ironixally now i am 94 lb / 42 kg lighter i have been told i am not big / fat enough anymore by certain guys !

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walrus (29 )

2/05/2023 10:58 PM

That is appalling mate, if that person does not want to wrestle you a politr no thanks is all they need to say. Until recently i was obese at 325 lb / 148 kg and have had the odd similar comment which i just ignored. Ironixally now i am 94 lb / 42 kg lighter i have been told i am not big / fat enough anymore by certain guys !

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 10:59 PM

(In reply to this)

Mate that’s some incredible results though! Just as long as you’re happy

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HalfGuard (59)

2/05/2023 11:02 PM

I know, you know and many others here know that you've got the enthusiasm, fitness and skill for a great mutual match no matter how the lockdown or ankle has affected you. I can only echo what others have said in that it's their loss.

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1try2pinme8 (57)

2/05/2023 11:37 PM

Massive hug you hottie 😘

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

2/05/2023 11:39 PM

(In reply to this)

Right back at you 😉

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rowdybear (46 )

2/06/2023 3:33 AM

Those comments are gross and unacceptable. Telling someone their body isn't good enough is a piss poor take. They don't deserve the privilege of wrestling you!

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hardpunch (17)

2/06/2023 5:20 AM

I agree with you. While not everybody is going to be attracted to certain people, they don't have to be asses about it. If someone contacts me that I'm not interested in, I just say "thank you for reaching out but I don't think I would be interested." It's not necessary to give a reason and certainly not a nasty reason.

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ChokeHoldBear (46 )

2/06/2023 6:40 AM

Mate ignore and block. You're a great guy and can actually wrestle unlike most of them. I've got your back buddy.

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FightLover (37)

2/06/2023 8:40 AM

Yeah unfortunately there are those kind of guys but, even though sometimes is not that easy to overcome certain judgments, there are good and nice ones. So just focus on the and let the others behind, it's just their loss and at a certain point they'll regret.

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Mercury (35)

2/06/2023 9:12 AM

I met one guy once who when I arrived he said I wasn’t “as good looking” as he expected….

I’ve also experienced users who I’ve had great matches with and then just block for no reason. I agree with the guys who have responded already. If someone tells you to lose weight, or get a nose job as in my case, tell them to <<insert swear word of choice>> themselves

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Paulfighter (0)

2/06/2023 12:17 PM

Great post! Highlights so much that is wrong now.

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surrey71 (21 )

2/06/2023 1:50 PM

I agree with your thoughts SG82…. I get guys saying I’m too tall, as if I can do anything about that!
Fact is that if a guy demands a weight or look then they’re not worth meeting as the only thing wrestling will be in their speedo!
I look for attitude and ability above physical attributes - weight & size isn’t important but the willingness to compete and enjoy is!

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needalift (8)

2/07/2023 7:10 PM

I get it a lot too. I just add them to my block list and move on. I don’t have time for people like that.

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wrestlme37 (22)

2/09/2023 4:10 AM

Dude, when I saw your pic the first thing I thought was WOW he is hot!!! It's the guys loss. I have body issues too. I used to be a 300 pound guy that is now about 195. I have a ring around my waist that will never go away without surgery. IF I was young I would consider but at 61 it's a battle scare of my life. Hang in there, you are hot.

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emp23an (0)

2/09/2023 6:22 AM

Thank you! I completely agree, I’ve been on this site for a number of years, and have yet to have a match. At first, I was just trying to get the lay of the land, and I was intimidated. I’ve met some really nice guys on here, and there have been some guys interested in meeting, just no one local. Same story, I reach out and either get nothing back or get vitriol because I’m not their ideal opponent. I get it, I’ve put some weight back on that I need to lose, and I’m working on it, but for me and my husband, not for anyone else. Take me as I am…I appreciate your message…thanks again.

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rochroll (20)

2/09/2023 7:23 PM

There are all types on this site and like you have generally had positive experiences. I think we are all entitled to our preferences but that is no excuse to belittle someone and be nasty. A simple, "Thanks, but I am not interested" is sufficient.

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G-manGary (4)

2/10/2023 5:57 AM

I have also had people say that they can only meet if you are x amount and fit as fuck.
I have no desire to meet blokes like that.
I have met some decent wrestlers in the past and will keep doing so.
Stick to your guns and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

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sisuperman (11)

5/27/2023 4:25 PM

Very well said....delivered with class
Thank you

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hardpunch (17)

5/28/2023 12:36 AM

I just now saw this blog and just wanted to let you know I totally agree with everyone else's comments on here. Plus, I want to know what the hell is wrong with 5'11" and 201 pounds; sounds just fine to me. And even if you've put on a few extra recently, who cares? Of course, I'm partial to bigger men anyway, so maybe I have a biased opinion LOL. At any rate, I hope you've been able to ignore the body-shaming comments on here. I hate that sort of thing and there is no place for it anywhere, particularly on a site where a lot of people are probably nervous about putting themselves out there because they don't fit some sort of ideal. I certainly don't match it and, honestly, I generally prefer the guys who don't; they're more fun! Ignore the haters and embrace the ones who appreciate you as you are.

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Submission Guy 82 (56 )

5/28/2023 6:24 AM

(In reply to this)

Thank you man ❤️

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