Submission_Guy_82's blog

So yet again we’ve got members trying to be ‘exclusive’ to others. They’re allowed to look at profiles and message just as we do. In fact some of these members also contribute financially to the site, so please don’t question why they’re here.

Members aren’t obliged to meet, it’s a community full of diverse people with varying interests. If someone just wants to come online and chat then that’s fine.

🖕🏼

So I’ve been a member on and off for a good 11 years. Previously it’s felt like a very safe space. However I’ve recently noted an increase in toxic useds, body shaming and users with narcissistic views and a sense of entitlement.

I’m 5-11 and weight about 90kg right now following a period of incapacity due to injury. I was told by one user that I should ‘lose weight’ if I wanted to meet him - I’m not here to name a shame just raise awareness.

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia since I was a teenager, and whilst I can process shit like this and challenge it, it makes me concerned for those who can’t do the same. Personally if someone sets an expected standard for me to meet them - i.e. ‘you have to be this weight, you have to be toned, you have to be under XX’ then I genuinely have no desire to meet them.

I’m lucky to have met some amazing people from this site, if I am going to change anything about myself however, it’s on my terms and not to meet with someone else’s agenda. I genuinely hope this sends a positive message to other users who’ve experienced similar.

Yes people have preferences and that’s totally fine, but when you point out to someone that they’re ‘not up to standard’ and suggest they change, that’s when it’s not ok. It costs nothing to be kind.