Tybinola's blog
We shouldn't have to keep quiet anymore....
No this isn’t a political statement (we get enough of those already). This however, is a statement about why men shouldn’t have to keep quiet about their love for wrestling and fighting, whatever style that may entail.
The year 2020, as we all know, has sucked so much! I honestly can’t remember feeling THIS gutpunched since 2005 when Hurricane Katrina happened. It just seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. However, 2020 made me realize something that I guess I can take something positive from, how much I love – and miss – wrestling, fighting, and just feeling like a guy.
I mentioned in my last blog post (almost 3 years ago) about how much I love this stuff, and why I got into it in the first place. I never was a violent kid, never, nada. No physical fights with anyone, hell not even a real verbal altercation that almost got physical. Do I wish I could go back and change that about myself? No, not really, because I don’t know if I personally would’ve liked that person I could have become. However, do I wish that maybe I tried to create better friendships with guys in my grade? Yeah. Why? Because I never got to have that rough housing play with anyone growing up. I never got in a play fight with a brother (biological or theoretical). I never got to roll around, try and submit each other or hell knock each other out while other guys cheered us on.
That desire is something I’m always trying to seek. And I know I am not the only guy in the world that is thinking that, I mean we are all on a site called Meetfighters. Some guys here, they did get in fights growing up, they train in this stuff, or they aren’t as nervous or unsure to challenge people and actually make something happen. However, some – maybe most – of us, probably fit into the same category as that grade school me, afraid to challenge someone, afraid to rough house. Either we were too scared of getting beat (guilty), too scared of making a fool out of ourselves (also guilty), didn’t want to ruin our reputation (also guilty), or maybe we were turned on too much by it and were afraid we would come out of the fight with a bloody nose and a boner getting sent to the principal’s office (guilty, Guilty, GUILTY).
Unfortunately, guys can’t just settle it in a fight all the time now, because the respect of that element of manhood isn’t really present anymore. I’ve heard stories about how my dad and his brothers would get in fights growing up with other people (mess with one you mess with all three); hell my grandmother even told them “you don’t start a fight, but you better finish it”. There was a different mindset back then. In the technology world, many of us cannot afford to get in a fight, for whatever reason, and have someone take out their phone, film it, and post it all over the internet and jeopardize our livelihoods. I know some members have videos of matches here, but that is mutually agreed upon, not filmed secretly by someone who can easily spin it to have a different meaning and potentially ruin someone’s private life.
What I’m trying to say here is that sites like this allow us to, in some way, not have to feel so repressed or scared about loving this stuff. It’s a shame that we have come to a world where guys have to explore their primal, instinctual nature by trying to meet up with guys on the internet. However, we have the beauty of having this be a “safer” way of meeting guys to just simply wrestle, or fight, or have a match of whatever style you both agree on. We can explore that primal side of ourselves. We can challenge our strengths, and the strengths of our opponent. We can simply have fun wrestling and fighting.
I hope we eventually reach a point where we don’t have keep quiet about loving wrestling or fighting. People can talk about it and not feel like they are that weird kid in class. Hopefully 2021 will bring me, and everyone, some much needed energy, adrenaline, and tension release that can come from wrestling and fighting. Sorry for this being so wordy, but I hope others agree. Bearhugs everyone.
P.S. - If you were one of those guys that got into some scraps growing up, I would love to hear about them, please feel free to share.
BamaJDon41 (10 )
9/19/2020 7:56 AMGreat blog. I'm sure most guys would easily recognize themselves in your experience. My few fights were in elementary and junior high. More rolling in the dirt than punching. There's always been guys that pick on the quiet types.
Reczz (1 )
9/19/2020 12:39 PMWell, I agree that it is a bit sad that one should feel ashamed of what they like, but I also think that in general not settling disputes through fights is a good thing.
That being said, well written, and I myself was guilty on all counts in school :)
Sparrhawk (9)
9/22/2020 2:14 AMPersonally, I believe the lack of wrestling growing up is why I seek it out now. It's like my body physically yearns for something it didn't experience in my youth.
I was rarely around anyone my age, and the few times I did wrestle, I got scolded. It was clear that wrestling was "bad" and I wasn't supposed to do it no matter how much I wanted it. This only made my desire to wrestle worse. Imagine being told that the one thing you really wanted was barbaric and stupid.
I still remember how my school started wrestling group in Elementary School. I would dream about being on the team but didn't tell my parents because I knew they would disapprove.
SilverFoxFight (37)
9/22/2020 1:27 PMThanks for your post; this is exactly how I feel and you have expressed it much better than I could! I was handicapped, of sorts, as a child (didn't go through puberty until into my twenties) and never had a fight. Like others, wrestling was frowned upon by most of the adults that I knew. At the same time, some of them would reminisce about an uncle who was a boxer in the Navy or the family next door that used to make their boys box in the basement to settle petty differences. But none of that was appropriate for their sons. After being treated for my condition, I longed for "rough and tumble" and needed to prove that I could fight like a man even if I lost a match. So, you are not alone in your experience and I appreciate your taking the time to write. Deano in Cincy.
maccabi (24)
9/25/2020 3:51 PMsimilar to a lot of us who were no violence in childhood... it's like we need to play some kind of it... dr. freud would tell us that the lack of violence playing fights with other kids let us fetishes the man to mn wrestling in our adult life... and the unconcioness is pretty efficient... it always got what it needs... luckily!
a big hug & kiss from you, and let's take it like men do... man to man in a ring! a fight to the deadth (read: till cumming)
Rasslebarefoot (14 )
10/04/2020 4:52 PMWell said bud
gripperUK (3)
10/05/2020 2:40 PMAh Tybinola, still hoping to meet when COVID-travel-restrictions ease.
A nice blog post!
As a kid was quite nerdy/skinny and got bullied a fair bit. Occasional outbursts of 'fighting' when pushed to the limit, but fighting - real or for fun - never part of my childhood.
But I think men/boys of all ages, sizes, sexuality or normal demeano(u)r have a latent love of testing their strength against other males whether playfully with friends or in a more organi(z/s)ed setting. If both men happen to be Gay too, there are other attractions,
But despite my amateur hypothesis, just boils down to two guys wanting to enjoy the thrill of stripping down to fighting gear and testing yourself against a like minded man.