SilverFoxFight's blog

It was dark and lonely in my one bedroom apartment in Caldwell, New Jersey back one evening in the late 1990's. I was going through an unwanted divorce, was losing my job and my mother had just passed away...and I had purchased my first laptop computer with internet access (via telephone, buzzing and whirring modem and all!). At the time, AOL had interest or chat groups and I found one called "WrestlingM4M" and not soon after a website called "Takedown." It amazed me to discover that I was not the only man in the world with "fighting" interests later in life (I was in my forties at the time).

I cannot even remember my "handle" back then nor can I remember that of the gentleman who introduced himself as "Roy" from a small village in Northeast England. He was older than I, and single and, as I later found out, handicapped. Unlike myself, Roy had some wrestling experience and would even pay guys to come to his flat and wrestle with him (something I would never do myself...but it was tempting!). In a sense, Roy became my hero, trying to live out his fantasies, such as I did not have the nerve to even attempt in the real world. Here was someone who had overcome not only his reticence to meeting strangers to fight to the best of his ability but had also did not let physical handicaps hinder him.

We talked a lot, late at night, even for me in the United States, much later for Roy and not just about wrestling but about our fears, our disappointments and about our hopes for the future. He told me about his faith in God, though confused at times...as is mine...Roy's faith was very real.

One day, Roy passed away. A memorial was put up for a while on the internet but has, to my knowledge, long since been taken down. My buddy had lived the life of "quiet desperation" that the poet had described. I often wish I could have been with him when he passed on.

As for me, over sixteen years have come and gone quickly since those events. I have moved to a different city, remarried (happier this time) and changed careers. I finally found a "real" fight bud sometime in 2000 and loved it. Why did I wait so long? (well, that's another story!).

Today, I have have many wrestling and boxing friends in the real world and the potential of many others.

But there was only one Roy.

Rest in Peace my friend...I'll be seeing you again.

Deano

Photo: after one of my first matches, 2004