BullBoy's blog

I never cared much about the Marvel cinematic universe. It is corny, cheesy and represents a world that isn't grounded in reality at all. I am not talking about the awesome superpowers and the fantastic technologies that are commonplace in these realities. I am talking about the juvenile morality and two dimensional motivations most of these characters seem to inhibit.

Lately I started watching The Umbrella Academy and The Boys, two superhero themed shows that fix the issues mentioned above. I started watching them, and actually thinking of superheroes, and how awesome wrestling matches could be if we could actually have superpowers. Starring at the ceiling, in the middle of the night, I made a list of the top 8 powers that would be used in super wrestling. All of these powers, unless indicated otherwise, are limited and can only be used for a limited amount of time.

1) Duplicity - An exact clone of yourself appears. Suddenly matches turn into a 2 vs 1, making new submission moves possible and doubling the punishment.

2) Electric touch - Touching your opponent gives them a slight electric shock. Great for escaping bearhugs and other submission moves, but also great when applying them to your opponent. It is more effective against sweaty opponents. The one drawback of this electro-stimulating move is the limited battery capacity of the super-wrestler.

3) Mind control- Look your opponent into the eye, and they become calmer, and calmer until they enter a hypnosis like state. You can do anything to your opponent at this time, provided that it does not cause physical pain. This ability is ideally used to move your opponent in a compromising spot (e.g. on the ropes) then end the mind-control with a match winning move.

4) Web sling- similar to spiderman, the wrestler is outfitted with a device that flings rope-like or whip like webs. This is the only ability that introduces a foreign object into the ring. The web can then be used to hog tie the opponent, lasso them or whip them.

5) Telekinesis (suspension and blast) - allows the wrestler to suspend their opponent in the air. An invaluable tool to stop their opponent from jumping on them. Once the wrestler moves out of the harms way, the fall can resume and the opponent shall continue their drop. The telekinesis cannot lift opponents from the ground - but it can push opponents away in a short blast. Another use for this move is to add height for moves such as piledrivers that are applied by the wrestler.

6) Mega muscles- similar to the Hulk, the wrestler enters a primal state. His muscles grow exponentially, he becomes taller and he gains super strength. Opponents are not just a mere paperweight, easily moved around and pushed with a single arm. This ability has two downsides. First of all, singlets and trunks are likely to rip and tear due to bulging muscles. Second, and most significantly, the wrestler shall be extremely tired after returning to their normal state after using this ability.

7) Stretch- The wrestler becomes very flexible. Spladdles, full nelsons and many other moves are useless against him. He also has the ability to extend his arm 1-2 feet which can be invaluable when reaching fo the ropes.

8) TBD- No matter how much I thought about it I couldn't come up with a an eight power. Would you guys have any suggestions ?