LET’S RASSLE, MR. PRESIDENT!
a/k/a More Than A Streak of Lavender
Part 1 of 5
Ward Hill Lamon quickly ushered the President of the United States down the driveway of the White House towards the waiting closed carriage. It was September of 1862 on a brisk early evening. Lamon, a giant, burly man, was in an extremely agitated state. He had been fussing and fuming at the President all the way down the long driveway. He opened the door of the carriage as the 6’4” President quickly, though awkwardly, climbed inside.
Lamon handed a carpet bag to the President but before closing the door, peered inside at the military officer seated beside President Lincoln. He saw that the officer was young, around 5’11” and handsome with a well-trimmed moustache and a mane of brown hair which curled over his ears.
“Your Excellency, this is highly irregular,” Lamon blurted out. “I should be the one accompanying you. I’m your personal bodyguard. This man’s a mere puppy, he’s unqualified, he’s obviously not fit enough to…”
Before Lamon could finish his sentence, the officer, bristling, leaned forward and said in a curt, condescending tone, “I am more than qualified, SIR. I have my orders. Now shut the door and allow us to proceed.” Lamon, furious, leaned down, sticking his head inside the carriage. “I AM THE ONE WHO HAS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED THE PRESIDENT TO SOLDIERS HOME FOR HIS RETREATS…SIR! IF YOU’D LIKE TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER OUTSIDE THE CARRIAGE…” The officer, enraged, began to shout, “I WOULD GLADLY DISCUSS ANYTHING YOU WANT, YOU FAT, LUMPY MOUNTAIN OF LARD!” Without a word, the President calmly raised his hand between the two squabbling heads spitting fury. The shouting immediately ceased but the belligerents seethed, eager to make the confrontation physical.
The President turned to his personal bodyguard and then said in a lowered but firm voice. “Ward, the officer beside me will be taking me on this trip. Lamon interjected, “BUT EXCELLENCY!” Lincoln continued, “I appreciate your concern Ward, but you will remain behind this time.” “It’s settled.” Lamon and the officer glared at one another in such a way as to communicate without any possibility of doubt that their paths would surely cross again at a future date.
Lamon withdrew his head and demonstrating his pique, slammed the carriage door shut as loudly as he could. In direct response, the officer pounded the roof of the carriage forcefully with his fist signaling the driver to pull away. Lamon, incensed, stood his ground and watched until the carriage had completely disappeared from view. He gripped the brass knuckles he always carried inside his pocket and a cruel smile appeared on his face gleefully anticipating rearranging the features of the handsome officer when next they met. He would seek intelligence on his new enemy the moment he stepped back inside the White House.
As the carriage proceeded, the President was silent and preoccupied. The officer, wanting to make a decent impression, tried to erase the previous unpleasantness. “Your Excellency, may I say that I am most honored…” The President cut him off. “Please don’t call me ‘Excellency.’ That form of address always annoyed me, now more so than ever. Ward uses it constantly even though I’ve asked him not to.”
The officer said, “Sir, I’d be more than willing to take the issue up with him. I’m sure I’m just the man to persuade him to address you in a manner you prefer.”
The President smiled. “No doubt, that would be a very interesting encounter. However, Ward is a longtime friend, so I indulge his overzealous care of me. You know, he even sleeps sprawled on the floor just outside my bedroom door throughout the night. He surrounds himself with pistols and brass knuckles at the ready, which disturbs the Mrs. no end.” The President chuckled at the thought, then abruptly changed the subject. “You must be Captain David Derickson of the Bucktail Brigade.” I’ve been informed that you would be in charge of altering the arrangements of this trip.”
Captain Derickson, most eager to be on a warm footing with the President, replied, “Yes, sir, Mr. President.” Instead of Soldiers Home, I will be conveying you to a more secluded and quiet residence for your retreat over the next two days. I guarantee you’ll be most comfortable.”
“Thank you very much, Captain” was the reply. The President fell into a complete silence for the rest of the journey.
Night fell as the carriage left the capital city behind. A full moon lit the way. After two hours, the carriage came to a stop. The President, with an expression of apprehension, looked through the window as the Captain sprang from his seat. Emerging from the carriage, he raced around to hold the door open for the President. Lincoln descended from the carriage and surveyed the scene before him.
A tiny dwelling, surrounded on all sides by an immense field of very green grass stretching out in all directions, drew a smile from the President. Captain Derickson, immensely pleased at this response said, “It’s idyllic, Sir.” I figured this is what you had in mind.” The President looked at the Captain gratefully, “Yes, ‘idyllic’ is precisely the word for it.” The Captain dismissed the carriage, telling the driver to return in two days at the exact same time.
Now, completely alone in this peaceful setting, Captain Derickson assumed a formal military stance and gave a polite nod to the President. “Sir, would you like to go inside?” President Lincoln for the first time noticed the direct, fearless gaze of the Captain. It occurred to Lincoln that this man had the most penetrating brown eyes he had ever seen.
tuffchap (1)
11/07/2020 11:28 PMLET’S RASSLE, MR. PRESIDENT!
a/k/a More Than A Streak of Lavender
Part 1 of 5
Ward Hill Lamon quickly ushered the President of the United States down the driveway of the White House towards the waiting closed carriage. It was September of 1862 on a brisk early evening. Lamon, a giant, burly man, was in an extremely agitated state. He had been fussing and fuming at the President all the way down the long driveway. He opened the door of the carriage as the 6’4” President quickly, though awkwardly, climbed inside.
Lamon handed a carpet bag to the President but before closing the door, peered inside at the military officer seated beside President Lincoln. He saw that the officer was young, around 5’11” and handsome with a well-trimmed moustache and a mane of brown hair which curled over his ears.
“Your Excellency, this is highly irregular,” Lamon blurted out. “I should be the one accompanying you. I’m your personal bodyguard. This man’s a mere puppy, he’s unqualified, he’s obviously not fit enough to…”
Before Lamon could finish his sentence, the officer, bristling, leaned forward and said in a curt, condescending tone, “I am more than qualified, SIR. I have my orders. Now shut the door and allow us to proceed.” Lamon, furious, leaned down, sticking his head inside the carriage. “I AM THE ONE WHO HAS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED THE PRESIDENT TO SOLDIERS HOME FOR HIS RETREATS…SIR! IF YOU’D LIKE TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER OUTSIDE THE CARRIAGE…” The officer, enraged, began to shout, “I WOULD GLADLY DISCUSS ANYTHING YOU WANT, YOU FAT, LUMPY MOUNTAIN OF LARD!” Without a word, the President calmly raised his hand between the two squabbling heads spitting fury. The shouting immediately ceased but the belligerents seethed, eager to make the confrontation physical.
The President turned to his personal bodyguard and then said in a lowered but firm voice. “Ward, the officer beside me will be taking me on this trip. Lamon interjected, “BUT EXCELLENCY!” Lincoln continued, “I appreciate your concern Ward, but you will remain behind this time.” “It’s settled.” Lamon and the officer glared at one another in such a way as to communicate without any possibility of doubt that their paths would surely cross again at a future date.
Lamon withdrew his head and demonstrating his pique, slammed the carriage door shut as loudly as he could. In direct response, the officer pounded the roof of the carriage forcefully with his fist signaling the driver to pull away. Lamon, incensed, stood his ground and watched until the carriage had completely disappeared from view. He gripped the brass knuckles he always carried inside his pocket and a cruel smile appeared on his face gleefully anticipating rearranging the features of the handsome officer when next they met. He would seek intelligence on his new enemy the moment he stepped back inside the White House.
As the carriage proceeded, the President was silent and preoccupied. The officer, wanting to make a decent impression, tried to erase the previous unpleasantness. “Your Excellency, may I say that I am most honored…” The President cut him off. “Please don’t call me ‘Excellency.’ That form of address always annoyed me, now more so than ever. Ward uses it constantly even though I’ve asked him not to.”
The officer said, “Sir, I’d be more than willing to take the issue up with him. I’m sure I’m just the man to persuade him to address you in a manner you prefer.”
The President smiled. “No doubt, that would be a very interesting encounter. However, Ward is a longtime friend, so I indulge his overzealous care of me. You know, he even sleeps sprawled on the floor just outside my bedroom door throughout the night. He surrounds himself with pistols and brass knuckles at the ready, which disturbs the Mrs. no end.” The President chuckled at the thought, then abruptly changed the subject. “You must be Captain David Derickson of the Bucktail Brigade.” I’ve been informed that you would be in charge of altering the arrangements of this trip.”
Captain Derickson, most eager to be on a warm footing with the President, replied, “Yes, sir, Mr. President.” Instead of Soldiers Home, I will be conveying you to a more secluded and quiet residence for your retreat over the next two days. I guarantee you’ll be most comfortable.”
“Thank you very much, Captain” was the reply. The President fell into a complete silence for the rest of the journey.
Night fell as the carriage left the capital city behind. A full moon lit the way. After two hours, the carriage came to a stop. The President, with an expression of apprehension, looked through the window as the Captain sprang from his seat. Emerging from the carriage, he raced around to hold the door open for the President. Lincoln descended from the carriage and surveyed the scene before him.
A tiny dwelling, surrounded on all sides by an immense field of very green grass stretching out in all directions, drew a smile from the President. Captain Derickson, immensely pleased at this response said, “It’s idyllic, Sir.” I figured this is what you had in mind.” The President looked at the Captain gratefully, “Yes, ‘idyllic’ is precisely the word for it.” The Captain dismissed the carriage, telling the driver to return in two days at the exact same time.
Now, completely alone in this peaceful setting, Captain Derickson assumed a formal military stance and gave a polite nod to the President. “Sir, would you like to go inside?” President Lincoln for the first time noticed the direct, fearless gaze of the Captain. It occurred to Lincoln that this man had the most penetrating brown eyes he had ever seen.